


Saying All I Didn't Get To Say Before

by afteriwake



Series: A Past Love [4]
Category: Doctor Who, Sherlock (TV)
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-05
Updated: 2012-07-05
Packaged: 2017-11-09 06:11:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/452229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/afteriwake/pseuds/afteriwake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Amy says her good-byes to her husband.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Saying All I Didn't Get To Say Before

**Author's Note:**

> I actually choked up as I was writing this. I didn’t mean for it to be this sad, but…wow. I didn't mention it in the other fics but I have my timeline sorted out. This is set post-"The Reichenbach Falls" for Sherlock, who was already come back to London after an extended absence (which is why John didn't blink an eye at him disappearing for nine months to find Amy), and set nine years after the events of series 7, putting it roughly at 2021. Timey wimey wibbly wobbly Weeping Angels screwy stuff.

Amelia stood at the grave, River and the Doctor behind her. So young, and she was a widow already. She thought she was out of tears but no, she wasn’t. Two slipped down on her cheek as she laid the roses near the tombstone. “Could I have a moment?” she said, turning to look at River and the Doctor.

The Doctor nodded and led River away. “We’ll be in the TARDIS, when you’re ready.”

She watched them walk away, then went closer to the tombstone and sat down. It read Rory Williams, Devoted Husband, and underneath that in smaller script it said “The Lone Centurion.” She traced the letters with her fingers. “Hello, Rory,” she said sadly. “They found me. I know the Angels said they wouldn’t, but they did. I’m back, but it’s been nine years since we left on that last adventure. It was long enough to declare me dead, at any rate. God, I can’t believe its 2021 now. At least the world didn’t end in 2012, you know?”

She shifted slightly and tried to ignore the damp ground. “So much has changed. Our house actually remained untouched for seven years, can you believe it? I mean, that was before Mycroft Holmes bought it. It’s run down a bit now. So many repairs I need to do, so many things I need to replace. I’m really glad we didn’t leave all the pictures to people. I have some pictures of you left. But a lot of the other stuff is gone. The important things are there, and quite a few people who got some of our personal items have given them back. Aunt Sharon kept my wedding dress in mint condition, so I was very pleased to get that back.”

She sighed, then decided it didn’t matter if the ground was damp. She moved the roses, then turned and laid down on her back, her head touching the tombstone. “River…we have the best daughter. I know you wanted me to throw away that picture of Sherlock and I when we were young, but River slipped it into the car before he got it. He saw the picture and started looking for me. He spent almost two years doing that. Can you believe it? He’s the one that found me. I know you never liked him, because he was my first and you weren’t, but he found me. I’m not going to live out my days in the roaring 20s.”

She reached up and over, touching the tombstone. “I miss you. I miss you so much I feel like I’ve been gutted, like a piece of my soul is missing. You know how I said you could have more than one soul mate? You were one of my soul mates. You were the best, and I still love you so much. I know you’re in Heaven. You wouldn’t have landed anywhere else. You better be looking out for me. I’m going to live a long life, and God, I wish you were here to share it with me. I know some day, probably really soon, River’s going to have her last adventure with the Doctor and then I’ll be totally alone. I won’t have my family anymore. But you watch out for me. You be the angel that sits on my shoulder and guides me, okay?”

She tried to blink back the tears that were forming but a few slipped. “I wish we hadn’t fought before New York. I am so, so sorry we fought. If I had known it was going to end this way I never would have pushed. I never should have agreed to the trip. We should have stayed in London and grown old together and had more babies and had a life. And now you’re not here and I don’t know what to do. I want you back here so bad, Rory. I want to sit on the couch with you and punch you in the shoulder to show I love you, I want to lie down in bed next to you and listen to you talk in your sleep. I want you here so bad it hurts.”

She moved her hand off the tombstone and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. “What am I supposed to do, Rory? You waited for me for almost two thousand years. You rescued me from Madame Kovarin and you tried so hard to rescue Melody too. You’re my hero, and you loved me, the impossible me that got cranky and bitchy, the one who pushed and pushed. You gave me everything I could have asked for and you only got angry once when I pushed too far. I didn’t deserve you, I really didn’t. You deserved better than me. But you loved me just the same. I was always the one you loved, even when I loved someone else. You knew what I didn’t way back when we were kids. And now I’m alone and I don’t know what to do.”

She cried quietly for a few minutes, rolling over to her side and curling up. God, she just wanted him to hold her again, so much that it was a physical ache. She didn’t care about the dirt or any of that. She just wanted her husband, the man she had promised to love till death did they part, and death had come far too soon. After about ten minutes she felt the tears start to dry. She uncurled, and sat up. She could feel dirt clinging to her back but she didn’t care. She turned again, facing the tombstone, and leaned in and kissed it. “I hope you get that in Heaven, Rory,” she said quietly. “I hope you get my love and my apologies and all of it, and you know I loved you so very very much.”

With that she moved away, then grabbed the roses and put them back by the tombstone. She stood up and headed back to the TARDIS, her steps slow and heavy. She wrapped her arms around herself and tried to warm herself up, but it didn’t help. There was a hole in her, the shape of Rory, and it would take a very long time for it to be filled, if it ever was going to be filled. She didn’t know right now.

When she got back to the TARDIS, River took one look at her and held out her arms. Amy stepped into them, and relished the warmth and comfort there. She held onto her daughter tightly, and when she let go after a few moments she gave her a shaky smile. “Can I go home now, please?” she asked the Doctor.

“Of course,” he said. “Would you like River to stay with you for a while?”

She shook her head. “I’ll be fine on my own. I promise I won’t do anything stupid.”

“All right.” He went to the controls, and a few minutes later he came down to her and gave her a hug which she readily returned. “I know you said you don’t want to travel with me anymore, but if you ever need me, for whatever reason, just call. I’ll drop everything for you.”

“Thank you,” she said with a sad smile. “You take care of my daughter, okay? Love her like she deserves and keep her safe.”

“I will,” he said, kissing her forehead gently. “Good-bye for now, Amelia.”

“Good-bye,” she said, turning to leave. She knew deep in her heart this would be the last time she saw the TARDIS, and she paused at the door. “Good-bye,” she said softly, her hand on the door, and then she was gone, back at the empty home, back to her empty life. But she would soldier on, because she knew that was what Rory would want, and she wasn’t about to let him down.


End file.
